Gratitude

CGW Coaching, by Susan E. Barth, SCC-C, BCMMHC,

Relationship and Mental Health Coach

FINDING GRATITUDE

          I thought sharing an “attitude of gratitude” would be a worthwhile and meaningful journey together. Life can be complex and constantly changing, often in ways that challenge us, yet it remains far too short to overlook the importance of being grateful. Approximately ten years ago, I began practicing gratitude with intention, and it had a profound impact on my life. It shifted my perspective, helped me respond more thoughtfully—or at times not respond at all—encouraged me to stay present, and deepened my appreciation for the gift of life we’ve been given.

          Expressing gratitude is not only a powerful way to enrich your life, but it can also significantly improve your health and relationships. Practicing gratitude has been shown to ease stress and anxiety and reduce symptoms associated with many common health concerns. Research indicates that individuals who consistently engage in gratitude practices often experience fewer physical complaints, including headaches, digestive discomfort, and respiratory issues.

By keeping gratitude at the forefront of your mind, you can regulate your emotions more effectively during stressful moments, leading to a noticeable improvement in overall well‑being. Gratitude also deepens appreciation and fills the heart with love, allowing us to nurture our relationships with greater intention and care. The more consistently gratitude is practiced, the more joy one is able to sustain. It is truly remarkable that such a simple practice can have such a profound impact on one’s quality of life.

I have identified three key factors that helped me cultivate a consistent gratitude practice:

• Recognizing that things could always be worse

• Looking for the good in life and relationships

• Being humble

  
  

It is important to acknowledge that, regardless of our circumstances, there are always individuals facing greater challenges—and there is always something, even something small, to be grateful for. By empathizing with others and considering their experiences, we deepen our own sense of gratitude. In uncomfortable moments, reflecting on how a situation could be more difficult can provide grounding perspective. At times, that clarity may even bring a lighthearted smile, and a bit of laughter truly is good medicine.

During my time working at the cancer center, I met many patients who, after hearing about the rigorous treatment a loved one of mine endured, found comfort in realizing their own situation was less severe. That shift in perspective often lifted their spirits and helped cultivate gratitude, even in the midst of hardship. Similarly, whenever I feel frustrated with life’s challenges, I remind myself of the privileges we enjoy each day. We have running water in our homes, safe environments, food to eat, and countless opportunities for enjoyment. In contrast, many people across other continents live without these basic comforts we often take for granted.

         Focusing on the positive aspects of life and relationships is essential for cultivating gratitude. When we concentrate solely on the negatives, they become all we are able to see. Consider, for example, a parent who dedicates themselves to the daily care of their children—managing diapers, bathing, cooking, laundry, transportation, medical needs, and often working to provide for their family over the years. Naturally, they may experience difficult days or even an emotionally or physically challenging season. This is a normal part of life for all of us. However, if we remember only those challenging moments, we overlook their devotion, sacrifices, and ongoing unconditional love. That perspective would be ungrateful. Instead, we should be thankful for parents who love and care for us, as many individuals do not have the privilege of growing up in a loving home.

Similarly, in marriage, it is easy to identify grievances—but can we just as readily name the qualities we love about our spouse? Expressing gratitude is a powerful way to nurture connection. Tell your spouse you appreciate that they help you, support you, handle the grocery shopping, work hard, and show kindness and love. Share these acknowledgments often and watch your marriage flourish. Recognizing and valuing the efforts of our loved ones not only fosters gratitude but also positively influences our behavior and strengthens our relationships. When we intentionally focus on the positive attributes in others and in life, we begin to notice and appreciate the good that surrounds us. This shift in perspective enriches our emotional well‑being and deepens the bonds we share with those we love.

Humility is fundamental to leading a grateful and fulfilling life. In a world that often feels dominated by anger and self‑centeredness, it is important to remember that we are not entitled to special treatment. The adage, “You’re better than no one else, but no one else is better than you,” captures this truth well. A genuinely caring person practices unconditional love without expecting anything in return. When we embrace humility, we become more receptive to the gift's life offers and more aware of the kindness of others and the goodness present in the world.

          When someone goes out of their way for us, we should acknowledge their kindness and, when possible, pay it forward. Doing so fosters a culture of gratitude and humility. Ultimately, humility is what allows us to genuinely experience gratitude. By recognizing what we have, we learn to appreciate our blessings more fully. Choosing to look for a silver lining and striving to remain content in all circumstances helps us master our emotions and soften our hearts.

So how do we practice gratitude? In truth, practicing gratitude is simple.

1. Begin Each Morning with a Gratitude List

Start your day by identifying 5 things you are grateful for—ideally before you even get out of bed. For example:

• I am grateful for a good night’s sleep.

• I am grateful for a very comfortable bed

• I am grateful for my family.

• I am grateful that I am still able to walk.

• I am grateful that I have a job to go to.

  
  

No matter how small or trivial something may seem, if you are grateful for it, acknowledge it. You may find it helpful to write these reflections in a journal or incorporate them into a morning meditation. Your list can remain the same or change each day—be generous and allow it to grow. Make this your new routine. If you are facing difficult times, identify at least one or two things you are grateful for and stay committed to the practice. Over time, you will notice a meaningful shift in your outlook.

2. End Each Day with Reflection

Before going to sleep, take a moment to list the things you were grateful for throughout the day. For example:

• I am grateful the presentation went well.

• I am grateful I was able to help someone today.

• I am grateful for such a loving spouse.

• I am grateful my children are not involved with drugs.

• I am grateful my child improved their grades.

  
  

This simple practice helps you close your day with appreciation and reinforces a positive mindset.

3. Write a Weekly Gratitude Letter to God

Consider writing a weekly letter to God expressing your gratitude for the blessings in your life or for something wonderful that has happened. In one study involving 300 adults receiving counseling, a randomly selected group wrote gratitude letters for three weeks. Those who participated reported significantly better mental health than those in the control group.

4. Express Gratitude to Others

Take your gratitude a step further by writing and giving (or mailing) a thank‑you note to someone who has done something meaningful for you. Teach your children to write thank‑you notes or emails as well. Sharing gratitude has a profound impact on both the giver and the receiver. What you put into the world often finds its way back to you.

It is said that it takes 30 days to become familiar with something or to make it a commitment, and a minimum of 66 days to form a habit when practiced consistently. Once you begin this simple process, it will become second nature. You will find yourself expressing gratitude throughout your day—this is the ideal state to reach. As your gratitude grows, it will transform into blessings, and the more you recognize those blessings, the more joy‑filled your life will become. Gratitude unlocks the beauty of life and turns what we have into abundance. With gratitude, you can change your life one moment at a time—and in turn, gratefulness can change the world one person at a time.

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